


Here we Go A-Caroling Among the Rings so Gold

by TabiKittyKat



Series: 25 days of Christmas fics [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Fem! Jack, a fic about probably the most annoying one, i love christmas carols, randomly got this idea, so here ya go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 09:57:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TabiKittyKat/pseuds/TabiKittyKat
Summary: The Fake AH Crew spend their Christmas Eve gathered around the piano (they totally 'bought') and singing carols, but what happens when there's a conflict with a certain song?





	Here we Go A-Caroling Among the Rings so Gold

The holidays were here and the fake AH crew took the time to be thankful for each other's company and to cause significantly less chaos in Los Santos. They only did this once a year, so they hoped the city took great advantage of it. 

The penthouse was decorated to the brim with tinsel, baubles, multi-colored lights, and a big tree in the living room. Michael insisted to have a Garbo star at the top of the tree, so Geoff allowed it. Even though he demanded to put the star on top because of his boss status.

Jack gathered everyone around the grand piano that they've recently "purchased," and started to play classic Christmas carols for everyone to sing, off-key or otherwise. 

After a rendition of Jingle Bells and shouting out the additional lyrics to Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Jack smiled and looked around at her crew, all dressed in ugly Christmas sweaters. Everyone admitted that Jeremy's was the ugliest out of all of them, even if he didn't want to admit it himself. 

"I have a great idea! Let's sing the '12 Days of Christmas!'" Jack offered.

"You want us to be standing here all night?" Geoff moaned.

"Shut up, Geoffrey! I think it's a good idea!" Gavin smiled.

"We can each take 2 parts to sing. I think we all just go around in a circle; make this easier. So, I'll sing one, Michael 2, Geoff 3, Ryan 4, Jeremy 5-"

"Wait a bloody minute!" Gavin yelled. He pointed at Jeremy angrily. "Why the bloody hell does he get to sing 5 Golden Rings?!" 

"Because...I'm 5th in the circle? You get to sing 6 and 12, so I don't see the problem here, pal." Jeremy shrugged in his orange and purple ugly sweater.

"I see the problem here!" Gavin complained. "I'm the Golden Boy and I don't get to bloody sing the Golden Rings bit! Instead you give it to the bald, Spyro fanatic!"

"All right, Free. You got something against Spyro? Wanna take this outside?" Jeremy rolled up his sleeves.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Michael cheered on.

"Hold it! No! There will be no fights at Christmastime!" Jack stood up from her piano stool and stood between Team Boston Tea Party. "You're lucky I didn't make Geoff sing 5; he can't carry a tune for shit."

"I take offense to that!" Geoff raised his hand in protest. "Besides, I get to sing about France and ladies. I think I got the good end of the deal here."

"If the calling birds are using Apple products, I want nothing to do with this song." Ryan muttered. He wasn't wearing his mask, but the skull and drips of blood on his ugly sweater was enough of a clue that he was the Vagabond.

"What the fu-? Ryan, they're making bird noises, not duck faces!" Jack face-palmed. She sat back down in a huff. "Let's just sing the song-"

"W-wait, wait, wait. If we're analyzing this song, can we just ask why the fuck someone would give someone else all those damn birds? I have to deal with Gavin and that's the patience I'd have for all those birds combined!" Michael gestured to his boi.

Gavin squawked defensively. "Wot you mean, Micoo? I'm much more behaved than two bloody turtle doves. And why a pear tree? I don't even like pears! What about an apple tree?"

"I can get behind this." Ryan nodded.

"Oh, my GOD..." Jack sighed.

"Another thing about this. Is it just one time for each day the true love gets a gift? Or is it every day, they get a new gift PLUS the gifts from days passed?" Michael asked.

Ryan googled on his phone and his eyes widened. "Uhh...the second one. The true love ends up with 12 partridges and 40 golden rings." 

"I envy this true love. Can we find out where they live and take 'em out?" Gavin grumbled.

"What?! Gavin, this song was made a long time ago. And what the fuck are you going to do with 40 golden rings?" Jack asked.

"Show 'em off, of course!" 

"Of course." the Battle Buddies sighed and said in unison.

"And do the 8 maids come with one cow or 8 cows? These are important questions!" Michael asked again.

"The more cows you bring, the more holes I make. Simple." Ryan shrugged nonchalantly.

Jack shuddered at the thought. "Jesus, Ryan! You never lighten up, do you?"

"You take what you get, Jack. I'm not changing even though it's Christmastime."

Jeremy gave Ryan a hug for that. "I'm glad, pal. I don't know what I'd do without ya."

"No one asked the most important question: what kind of dancing do the ladies do?" Geoff wailed.

Jeremy laughed. "Really? That's your concern? What if they're twerking?"

"Then, I want them out of my house ASAP." Geoff stated bluntly.

Jack just face-palmed while Jeremy cracked up.

"The true love obviously doesn't give a shit about them because why the fuck would you give someone 12 drummers? You realize they're gonna keep the neighbors up with their banging. And how long do they stay around for?" Ryan asked, typing away on his phone.

"Wanna ask the same for the pipers and the lords leaping? You think they just stayed around playing leap frog all day?" Jeremy chuckled. 

"Well, according to this picture, the Lords are frogs." Ryan showed Jeremy a cartoon picture of the 10 Lords wearing top hats and leaping.

"Yeah, that's totally accurate." Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Can we sing the damn song now?" Jack sighed.

"NO! You give me the part I was meant to sing, or we're not singing at all!" Gavin folded his arms and turned away.

Jack threw her head back and groaned loudly, clearly getting a headache from the whole ordeal. She turned to Jeremy and gently asked him, "Jeremy, would you mind singing 6 while Gavin sings 5?"

"Will this count as me being good for Santa?" Jeremy asked quickly.

"Oh, yes it will."

"Done. I want my orange and purple guitar so I can play for you guys next year. I hope the fat man can deliver."

"Yay! Thanks, Lil J! You're the best!" Gavin gave Jeremy a hug.

"No problem, pal. Now, can we please sing before Jack kills us all?"

"I wanna watch!" Ryan says gleefully.

Geoff just shook his head. "Why did I hire you again?"

"Because I'd probably be hired to kill you at some point and you wouldn't want that."

"ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO! ONE, TWO, THREE!" Jack interrupted playing the intro to the song.

And they all sang: _On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..._

"A-"

"FIVE GOOOOLDEN RIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!"

"Gavin, you fuck!!"

"Can we kill him now or wait 'til after Christmas?"

"Now I wanna watch that, Ryan!"

"I officially hate this song now." Cue a cluster of notes as Jack bangs her head on the piano.

Yep. This was going to be a longer song than usual.


End file.
